F.R. Duplantier reporting Behind The Headlines

Week of:
August 27, 2000
Prince Albert Deserves to be Canned

F.R. Duplantier

by: F.R. Duplantier

"Al Gore as President will be more arrogant and zealous than he is as Vice President."

Gore's personal code takes priority
Over that of the Moral Majority,
So it's "Anything goes!"
Until somebody shows
A "controlling legal authority."

Bill Clinton "certainly has committed more criminal actions and engaged in more corrupt activity than any previous President," declare David Bossie of the Center for Government Integrity and Floyd Brown of Citizens United. "But," Bossie and Brown emphasize, "Clinton usually does evil to protect himself from prosecution or to pursue women. He is too lazy and preoccupied to ruthlessly pursue power for its own sake. Clinton," they add, "is also too cowardly to force change down the throats of people who do not want it. The 'don't ask, don't tell' cop-out compromise on gays in the military reflects his usual method of operation. Gore, by contrast, sought to completely overturn the ban on gays and lesbians in the military," Bossie and Brown recall. "Gore said he would only appoint members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who share his absolute views on gay liberation. Clinton," they contend, "would never say anything that direct, forthright, and fanatical on a controversial issue."

In their new book, Prince Albert, The Life and Lies of Al Gore, Bossie and Brown warn that an Al Gore Presidency would be even more damaging to our free republic than the Clinton Presidency has been. "Self-pity is the theme of the Clinton Presidency's first two terms," they assert. "Self-righteousness will be the theme of . . . Al Gore's Presidency. Gore is as fanatical and humorless as Clinton is frivolous and charming." Bossie and Brown recognize that "Clinton's electoral success derives from pleasing a majority, not offending it. In most areas of policy there will be continuity between the three terms of the Clinton-Gore Presidency," they affirm. "But the degree of self-righteousness and fanaticism will be increased in certain controversial areas of policy," such as race relations and the environment.

Bossie and Brown foresee Gore issuing "executive orders to help end the use of the internal combustion engine. Gore will also use executive orders to combat the growth of what he calls 'urban sprawl,'" they predict. "Al Gore also plans to be more active controlling the outside world than Bill Clinton is. During the last seven years," Bossie and Brown observe, "Gore urged the aggressive use of military force on many occasions when Clinton preferred to wait or not act at all."

The temperature's not getting higher.
Our environmental future's not dire.
With the best yet to come,
There's no need to be glum:
Al Gore, you're an ozone liar!

*Honor the inventor of the internet by sending E-Gore E-Cards,
free electronic postcards that capture the character of Al Gore.

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