LILIES
Without work or an income instead,
There's no way to provide daily bread,
Unless friends in high places
Supply manna and graces
To keep you and your family fed.

TUB SNUBBERS
They abstain from Palmolive and Prell
And perform their ablutions pell-mell,
Neither soaking nor scouring
In their five-minute showering:
Now we know why some Englishmen smell.

CORDOBA
Like a swaggering conquering hero,
Rauf is building a mosque at Ground Zero
-- Where some 3000 bodies
Were interred by jihadis --
And Obama just fiddles like Nero.

ME SHELL, CONT.
While the rest of us scrimp all the time,
She displays an indifference sublime:
Our First Lady, Michelle,
Does exceedingly well
As she travels the world on our dime.

DEM BONES
In the backyard we broke out the bibs,
Fed our faces with barbecued ribs.
Now we're nursing the embers
And awaiting November's
Bacchanalia of barbecued Libs.

MIDTERM
"We have lost the dumb voters' affection
But persist in our leftward direction,
'Cause they don't have the gumption
To resist our presumption
And we know how to rig an election."

CLIMATE EXCHANGE
I will trade you the Springtime in Spain
For the Autumn in Southern Ukraine,
And the Summer in Mali
For the Winter in Bali --
Plus September in Alsace-Lorraine.

BAD SAMARITANS
When a brother has wandered astray,
Those who love him will show him the way;
Those who follow the fashion
Of corrupted compassion
Will assure him his sin is okay.

KAGANROO COURT
Poor Obama is losing support,
But he still has a sure last resort:
He can perpetrate strange
And perpetual change
Placing radicals on the High Court

AL GORGE
If a human is hungry for strudel,
He can get some by using his noodle,
But his quest for confection
May result in rejection
If he paws like a poor, crazed sex poodle.

THE INVISIBLE MAN
Someone opened a devilish door
Without caring what might lie in store:
Disconnected from "donors,"
Single mothers are loners
And their kids don't have dads anymore.

BP/D
As our nation reacts to the Spill
And Obama decides not to drill,
Hugo Chavez, the sheiks,
And those climate-change freaks
Like Al Gore and Prince Charles are athrill.

SUB CULTURE
To my loved ones I had to say bye
With the knowledge I might have to die:
Does that mean that I oughta
Spend six months underwater
With a guy with a gleam in his eye?

C'EST LA QUEER
I survived at the front of the line,
But decided I had to resign:
From the front I came back
To confront an attack
From the cat in the cot next to mine.

SHELL SHOCK
Dining out and plan to grab
Lots of oysters, shrimp, and crab?
Remember the Spill
Has raised the bill:
Let your partner pay the tab.

O SPILL
With dispersants and skimmers and booms,
We'll contain the contaminate blooms,
Stop the Slick from Chicago
More toxic than Blago,
And avert the disaster that looms.

CROP FAILURE
Yes, we try to be "part of the team,"
But we find ourselves wanting to scream
When what rose to the top --
So-called "cream of the crop" --
Is a rancid and foul sour cream.

OBAMA DOCTRINE
There's no need for a war on terror.
Just say no to the c'est-la-guerrer.
Everything will be ducky
As long as we're lucky
And the terrorist makes an error.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Having rendered himself indistinct,
A Republican candidate finked,
And we now can take Crist
Off the endangered list,
'Cause this RINO's already extinct.

CRY FOWL!
If it looks like a duck, it's a duck!
If it swims like a duck, it's a duck!
Is the question instead,
Is Obama a Red?
If it quacks like a duck, it's a duck!

OBOWMA
How he'll flatter, fawn, and fuss,
Make himself obsequious!
To tyrants alone
The man is prone:
Never will he bow to us.

INVERT TED
Olson says a square is round,
Half an ounce is twice a pound,
Two o'clock is ten,
Men can marry men,
And the sky is underground.

WARMAGEDDON
In the end and come what might,
Climate changers may be right:
In the depths of hell,
Where such liars dwell,
Things can get real hot all right!

CANDY MAN
What can make the pain grow, essential care deny,
Snuff out everyone and make the gurneys pile up high?
ObamaCare, ObamaCare can.
ObamaCare can 'cause it nixes right to life and makes the world less full.

HYPE AND CHANGE
If you want to get people believing,
Do not scrimp on the web you are weaving:
You're more apt to get by
With a really big lie
When you set out to practice deceiving.

HAPPENING
Our Republic he will rearrange
And the rights of the people estrange:
Yes, it can happen here
And it's now all too clear
What Obama intended by "change."

PAYBACK
If Pelosi can get enough votes
To shove health-care "reform" down our throats,
You can bet we'll remember
And cast votes in November
To be "reconciled" with Judas goats.

RECONCILIATION
"Form a line, single file, if you will;
Remain quiet, attentive, and still;
And spare us the drama
As Dr. Obama
Dispenses this large bitter pill."

WHOOSH!
At the Winter Olympics, aghast,
All the skiers see someone fly past;
They're left out in the cold
As Obama gets gold:
No one's ever gone downhill so fast!

AN INCONVENIENT MIRTH
With the waning of warming pretense
Putting climate change on the defense,
Humbugs have a new hoax:
The world's threatened by jokes
Being made at the humbugs' expense.

BLIZZARD
For a year he continued to blow
As the nation was hunkered below:
For relief we all yearned
'Til the tables were turned
And Obama was buried in snow.

YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET
Yes, the current recession's severe
And there seems to be little to cheer,
But one day you'll look back,
See it wasn't so black Ð
'Cause it's bound to be worse in a year!

DELUSIONAL
How Obama responded with glee
To a message as plain as can be:
"Voters put Coakley down
And elected Scott Brown
To affirm their approval of me!"

TWISTED
As the lavender lobby engages
To subvert Christian culture in stages,
They accuse us of hate
If we dare validate
Common sense and the wisdom of ages.

STATE OF THE UNION
This past year has gone by in a blur
And Obama has lost his allure,
But he's yet to be thwarted
And is just getting started:
Three more years of this glib saboteur!

TAKEOFF
"With security lapses reviewed
On Flight 253, we conclude:
Due to differing beliefs
About bombs in one's briefs,
Every passenger now must fly nude."